Malawi Wedding


There are no two people in the world more upset about being called a couple than Kelsi and Nick. The ongoing joke that they belong together, despite their constant and tireless bickering, made them so unusually angry that it spurred the rest of us to continue with the teasing. And so, the group got together and did the only rational thing we could think of: plan their wedding.
The afternoon after the witch doctor was free time, or, the perfect excuse to have a bucks and hens night before the Australia Day wedding the following night. In reality, this was just a fantastic excuse to separate the boys from the girls and have a crazy night of bonding and partying.
So the boys met a local guy named Vin Diesel, packed up a cooler of cold beers, jumped in a sketchy wooden boat, and went fishing for the afternoon.
Kelsi and I, both still oblivious that the other girls were actually planning a hen party, went to the market to shop. As we arrived back at the campsite, we spotted the girls huddled in one corner of the bar; they stopped, mid-motion, to look at us. Then, with wicked smirks, they pulled out a toilet paper veil from behind their backs and attacked Kelsi. The festivities had begun! A paper veil, a bottle of cheap gin, a plethora of hen’s night games and a fully stocked bar… We had quite the afternoon ahead of us.
It was the first time on the trip that couples had been separated, and it was an amazing way to get to know the girls all as individuals. We laughed, swapped stories, and drank a lot of shots well into the evening. I didn’t realize until it was too late that I was on food prep duty for dinner. I spent more time focused on not chopping my hand off for a half an hour than what I was actually making for dinner. In the end, most of us didn’t really remember eating dinner anyways.
We were well into the activities by the time the boys arrived back home. Kelsi wore a full toilet paper gown, with a veil and a bouquet. We’d had quizzes, sketching competitions and more than enough booze to go around.
The boys showed up in a similar state. Nick’s fear of the wedding spurred them to try to flee in their little boat to Mozambique! The beers were gone, the boat had sunk, they lost some poor local man’s catch of the day, and wound up with a mangled dead chameleon in their shirt pocket: with one arm twisted behind his head and an eye dangling out of its socket, “Cam” was a sight for sore eyes. The last thing I remember is the four boys, sitting at the bar, while Vin Diesel signed their passports to say they had successfully entered Mozambique (If it’s signed”Vinny D” then it’s totally legit). Looks like their evening was equally as tame…




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